Saturday, October 23, 2004

Crossroads ...

Watch out for traffic coming from other directions

Sometimes you find yourself at a point in your life where you have to make a decision, do you turn left or right or go straight ahead and accelarate into the distance. Or you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile ... Anyway. I have now come at such a crossing where several roads come together and I have to pick a new route into the future. Stay in my current job with colleagues I know well and work with in a pleasant way but without finding full satisfaction in and appreciation for the things I do? Or do I step out and take a new promising role in a new job with a new employer with new unknown people around me? This is my present situation and either choice has its advantages and downsides. But right staying where I am means taking no action which always is bad. Stepping out feels like running away.

However, I have done my best to make changes to my present situation, several times, to no avail. So, I do not feel like I am quitting, giving up. It is not running away, it is stepping out gracefully at the bus stop and getting onto another line going in another direction, the rest of my future.

The part about leaving colleagues, some of them can be called friends as well, that's the part that bothers me most. I have had a lot of fun (and distraction from the less joyous moments and understanding), so I admit that they have been important in my day to day life. Without sounding too sentimental they have kept me going. They and just burying myself in my work, shutting off from the daily, weekly harrassments from those who have made the time bad enough for me to now take the Big Plunge into Uncertainty again.

Thanks to all these people. (You know who you are.)