Monday, August 20, 2007

Consultants

.. bit of self reflection

In the past I always have been looking at consultants as people from a different planet. There was a time that I really believed that they actually know everything. Now I know it's just one big secret society with silent rules about what to do and say and when, how and where to say that. I know, because I am one of them now.

Sorry.

Some definitions and observations

The following definitions and observations concerning consultants are true.

  • A consultant is someone whom a manager gives a number and then takes that number goes away for some time and then hands that number back to the manager with an accompanying invoice. Somehow that is satisfying to the manager, as long as the number doesn't change.
  • When you ask a consultant what time it is, he will give you instructions on how to build your own clock.
  • There are three kinds of consultants: those that can count and those that can't.
  • When you ask a kid or any sane person how much one and one add up to they wil answer two. Which I still hold to be correct. A consultant will ask: "well, how much would you like it to be?"

And slowly and surely I begin to understand this.

And slowly and surely I begin to lose my senses.